There are days when even a small thing, as insignificant and unintended as xxx (use your imagination or experience here) can cause a person to behave totally out of character.
In the early days of my decision to follow the Way of the Bodhisattvas, I would do a number of things to bring my mind back to its usual calmness. I would walk out of my property, cross many blocks to reach the Duck Pond in an Enclosed part of our suburb, and climb a Willow Tree. Then, laying back and looking up at the majesty of wind in the willows, movement of the trunk beneath me and all around me, I would meditate. Calm abiding followed this practice of mine every time.
Over time this part of my practice has diminished in need. One can unlearn the reactions and distress of the ego, by having a mind focused on equanimity. This translates to basically using the following phrase for each stone along your journey: “Is that so?” It implies acceptance of each experience, taking a moment (or ten) and carrying on with one’s day, without quickening one’s pulse, raising one’s blood pressure, or ‘biting someone’s head off”…
It is the wisdom found, by realizing that it is what it is, you can’t control it, but you are able to overcome the egoic reaction to it.
I read a quote recently that also may aid understanding of this point.. Someone asked a Master what anger was and he replied that anger is punishing oneself for someone else’s mistake.
If the anger is self – anger, learn to show yourself as much kindness and love as you are putting out into the world.
BREATHE… That’s it.